In this episode, Seattle’s Ehren Ebbage shares the story behind his song, “Snakes.”

Almost all of my songs are written with at least one degree of separation; a real life experience inspires an idea but the names and dates are changed to protect identities, so to speak.

Snakes is one of the few that are totally unaltered reflections of my life. The song started to emerge during a particularly challenging period. I was touring non-stop with a band that was slowly but surely achieving some rather large goals, including a major label record deal. We were crackling with excitement and big success seemed to be just around the corner. For the first time in my life I was a full-time musician and I was rubbing elbows with big time industry folks. It was truly exciting.

As time went on and the novelty wore off I noticed a consistent, nagging feeling of profound unhappiness. I was lonely. My relationship was on the rocks. I was going deep into debt (a Google search will provide many details as to how bands who sign record deals usually go broke). I was spending most of every day in a van or hotel room. I was booking the national tours for the band so the few scattered days that I was home were spent working long hours to prepare for the next tour. The stated goal of the bandleader was huge success; he wanted to play stadiums and arenas and I was at odds both because of the improbability of the goal and the fact that I didn’t see myself being any happier if we did happen to become rock stars. I wanted to be a musician but I was playing music for no more than 45 minutes a day. After a long period of this I realized that the sacrifices I was making were much greater than the rewards. I quit the band.

The song is written in a general way. There are no lyrics about ‘…the road ain’t no place to start a family…’. It deals with the points in life when you find yourself torn between options; what you thought you wanted and what you obviously need. It deals with growing pains and the feelings of failure.

It took some nerve to pack up and hit the road with the band but it was ten times more difficult to quit. This song came as I sorted through the process.

Snakes

I can’t explain
I just need to do things my own way
Cause this heart of mine
pulls in two directions at the same time

Loneliness here it comes
it’s been so long since I’ve loved someone

It doesn’t really ever pass
it just waits around like a snake in tall grass
at every opportunity
I turn my back and it sneaks up on me

but it doesn’t bite
it just hisses and spits
so why should I be scared of it

I don’t like to show it
when I’m feeling beaten
but nobody goes their whole life undefeated

it’s a matter of confidence
it’s just something you find
cause you’re not born with it

I’m starting to understand
even my dad had to learn how to be a man

I see those signs
just as clear as they get
like red lights flashing right over my head

this is my challenge and I’ll try to meet it
but nobody goes their whole life undefeated

which of us is brave enough
to throw away their fears
mostly we just save them up like little souvenirs
we keep them wrapped up
with all the other stuff
at the back of the dresser drawer
maybe someday I’ll take them out and say
I don’t need these anymore

These holes I keep falling in
there’s nothing to do but climb back out again
I just need a little privacy
some place to think without everybody watching me

everyone goes through the same kinds of feelings and
happiness is really just how well you are dealing
you say I am strong and I’d like to believe it
but nobody goes their whole life undefeated