In this episode, Kathryn Ostenberg, of Hollywood & Colorado, shares the story behind her song “Who Really Knows.” Kathryn will be playing at the Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles on January 30th. Details for this and other upcoming shows are available on her MySpace page.

This is definitely the most personal song I’ve written, even though I feel like I’m more vague with they lyrics in this song than I am in my other songs. It’s about finding someone you completely connect with, but the timing is off or there is some road block in the relationship. This particular road block I ran into was me falling for this one guy immediately…almost right off the bat. We were friends and as things progressed and were going well he totally froze up. And I was kind of like ‘Hey wait a minute I know you feel something too…we have something good!’ And unfortunately, I’m pretty sure the fact of the matter was that deep down he was scared as hell to actually get close to someone…and I realized he was totally guarded…(total opposite of me) Definitely a road block…It’s a bummer because I find as I get older people are more and more scared of taking a risk, falling in love, etc. and it’s so easy to miss out on the good things in life because of that fear. This song was kind of a way of me letting all get all these feelings out…(that I never really got to express to him by the way) and still maintaining hope for things to work out if they are supposed to work out. And then there was the whole notion of ‘If you’re going to not let me in..when you realize that there is something there you will find that because of you now I’m guarded…I’m scared..etc’ But the point of this song is that no one ever really knows what is going to happen and life can take you by surprise but I think it’s important to be hopeful that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen and I want to be positive and rely on that even if I might get my heart broken along the way.

Who Really Knows

trouble’s not hard to find
when you’re looking at love right in the eye
don’t know why I lose my mind
can’t stop a clock from running out of time

and i don’t know
why you won’t
jump in with out looking down
won’t lose control
can’t let it go
won’t give it up and just fall for me

you said ‘i won’t leap unless i know how deep I’ll be fallin’
if you won’t take my lead I’ll take a lesson from you
I build my walls up so high you can’t come in
I’ll be up down off on
one second here
next second gone
and maybe you will miss me
and the way you used to kiss me oh oh oh
who really knows

and things can break so easily
when they’re full of plans
bursting at the seams
of how each thing is supposed to be
face it baby,nothing’s guaranteed
and you can go to bed peacefully
cuz you followed the lines so perfectly
but what if its just passing you by?
can’t be the one to make you realize

and i don’t know
why you won’t
jump in with out looking down
won’t lose control
can’t let it go
won’t give it up and just fall for me

you said ‘i won’t leap unless i know how deep I’ll be fallin’
if you won’t take my lead I’ll take a lesson from you
I build my walls up so high you can’t come in
I’ll be up down off on
one second here
next second gone
and maybe you will miss me
and the way you used to kiss me oh oh oh
who really knows

you said “i won’t leap unless I know how deep I’ll be fallin”

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